Twilight Crackfic
by ohhsnapex3
Summary: What do you get when you cross a Twilighter with too much sugar? This story. x Umm.. super OOC because it's a crackfic.


**A/N:** This is a crackfic, meaning I was beyond healthy mental wellbeing limitations when I wrote this (AKA… I was hyper. Very hyper.) …If you're not ready for a little inappropriate slash (you'll see with who), ships, and singing… well, you better get ready! =P

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight… It owns me. =P

**Thanks to my friend xXspicycherryXx for the idea of a crackfic in the first place!**  
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**Bella:** Na na na na na na BATMANNNNN!

**Edward:** I'm not Batman. I am… SUPERMAN!

**Jasper:** Supaman dat ohhhh!

**Alice:** NO NO NO NO NO! You are not! No lying or I will go Becky on you're a--!*censoring* BUTT!

**Edward:** LIKE YOU COULD REACH IT!

**Emmett:** Ohhhhhhhh Alice got PWNED!

**Edward:** Fo shizzle!

**James:** Eddiekins, you are not a gangsta! I AM!

**Edward:** When did youz getz here, Jamesie?

**Bella:** Eddiekins? JAMESIE!? *sobs* NNUUUUU!!

**Jasper:** Itz okay Bella. You can be emo whiff me. *hands Bella black nail polish and black hair dye* Lets go get emo'd up!

**Emmett:** NOOO BELLA! *gay voice* WE WAS GOING TO GET MAKEOVERS TODAY!!!!! I NEED HELP PICKING OUT HIGH HEELS!!!!

**Bella:** Sowwies, Emma--I mean Emmett. I think I'll go emo with Jasper.

**Jasper:** OOHH EMMETT GOT STOOD UPPPPPPP!

**Emmett:** *sobs into Rose's shirt*

**Jacob:** *Irish accent* Top o' the morning to ya, leeches!

**Bella: **Jakey, since when is you Irish?

**Jacob: **Since I turned into a leprechaun! I mean... werewolf!

**Edward:** Get out of here doggy. *dazzle dazzle, sparkle sparkle*

**Jacob:** OH MY CULLEN! Edward you really do shine like diamonds! But you know diamonds are a girl's best FRIEND. *howls with laughter*

**Edward:** Yes but dogs are MAN'S best friend. ;D

**Jacob:** …Grrrr you bloodsucker.

**Emmett:** I love you Jacob!!!!!!!! *kisses Jake*

**Jacob:** I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU BIG TEDDY BEAR! :D:D

**Jasper:** I love screwing with peoples emotions!!!

**Bella:** !!!!! *sobs* NOOOO NOW I DON'T HAVE ANYONE! NO EDWARD, NO JAKE!!!!!

**Mike:** YOU STILL HAVE MEEEE, ARIZONA!

**Bella:** NUUUU! NOW I ONLY HAVE MIKE! HOW WILL I GO ON?!

**Mike:** BUT BUT BUT…! That's not the lineeeee! *pouty face*

**Bella:** Oh suck it up Mikey.

**Rosalie:** ...That's what she said.

**Carlisle:** ...NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

**Jasper:** ?!?

**Bella:** !?!?

**Alice:** OH NOES!

**Jacob:** *dreams of Emmett*

**Emmett:** *dreams of Jake*

**Edward:** OH MY CULLEN! NOO, CARLIZZLE!

**Carlisle:** I LOST MY MEDSSSSSS!

**Bella:** *evil grin* mwahahahaahaha!!!!!

**Carlisle:** …Bella… hand over the meds and no one gets hurt!!

**Edward:** Don't hurt my Bella!

**Bella:** Pfft. Your Bella. I thought James was your Jamesie and I'm not special enough anymore. ='[

**Edward:** Aww, well he may think that, but Bella… *bursts into song and dance number* YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT! OOH, OOH, OOH, HONEY!

**James:** MY EDDIE NO LOVE ME?? NUUUUUU! Hey… yummay little snack over there…

**Bella:** Yes??

**James:** *snort* hah you answered to yummay little snack…

**Bella:** *growl*

**Edward:** Hehe… Bella you're so cute when you try to be a vampire…

**Jacob:** How do you know she isn't trying to be a werewolf?

**Edward:** In your dreams, dog.

**Jacob:** Oh, yes. *dreams*

**Edward:** …*chokes on cookie* DON'T DREAM ABOUT _THAT_, DOG!

**Jacob:** Wait… I thought you can't eat…?

**Edward: **I don't.

**Jacob: **? Oookay…

**Esme: **Why do I always get left out of twilighttay's fanfics?! *sobs*

**Rosalie: **That's okay, Ezzie, she must not like me either. I keep getting left out too, and then when I do get a role, I am badly portrayed! *death glare at twilighttay*

**Esme: **WAHHH! THAT'S BETTER THAN WHAT I'VE GOTTEN SO FAR! So far, I've almost been dead and then taken away by a creepily smexah British doctor and then turned into a cold, dead mother of 5 moody, immortal teenagers! Believe me! THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN LIVING WITH NEVER-AGING TEENAGERS!*seconds the death glare towards twilighttay*

**twilighttay: **No need to hurt me… I'm just the author of this insane-ness!

**Collective characters: ***death glare*

**twilighttay: **Oooookay I'm going to end this before the characters eat me… jadlfjadfjadklfjadl;adhadj…

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****Reviews and requests are nice!**

**A/N:** Should I continue this madness? Tell me if you want more. It's quite stupid, but I was hyper, and heck, I did what my crazy mind told me to. =P


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